Boozer of the Week.

This guy:

Man jailed after sending Iowa hostages for beer
via Chicago Tribune

Offended

OK, I realize that as a non-contributing contributor, I probably don't have a whole lot of room to bitch about things that are or are not on this site.

That said, it is downright offensive that the ultimate in college drinking is not listed in the poll. The beer that fueled many of the Man In Black's stories to unsuspecting freshmen girls ("I'm actually half Jewish," "I was a husky model for JC Penny when I was 5," "I promise I'll call you," etc.), fountain runs, naked pull-ups at the front doors of sororities, et. al.

This beer, my friends, is the beer of champions. The beer that did not need to be called by name. No, all that needed to be said and done for it to be understood what a young, aspiring academic needed to drink that Tuesday night was to hand the person making the beer run $12, and simply ask for "30 'Stones."

The beer: Keystone Light.

I'm saddened by its exclusion.

Poor College Kid Beer

Uh...Natural Light

Micro'd: Gordon Biersch Brewery

(Note: This is part one of a yet to be determined number of installations titled "Micro'd" in which I go to a microbrewery and drink every different beer I can before being: a. thrown out b. divorced c. a new father. Who am I kidding? I really just had a few beers before going out to eat with my parents. My life is not exactly ripe with adventure at this point. It is worth noting that all beers were sampled in pints, and not those pussy beer flight things that they enjoy on the coasts where binge drinking is done mostly in closed quarters.)

Gordon Biersch brewery is a chain of breweries that is headquartered inexplicably in Chattanooga, TN despite not having a restaurant in the state of Tennessee. They have locations all over the place, though, like San Fran, Colorado, and the one I frequented in the heart of the Power and Light District in downtown KCMO, (a truly pretentious, over the top, enjoyable in quarterly doses venue) where I sat on a Friday night and drank by myself for an hour or two. They offer a really decent, somewhat expensive lineup of apps and entrees that are allegedly made from scratch and the food looked good for standard upscale brewery-type fare (think Upstream or Lazlo's-ish).

The beer report:

Marzen: Their most popular beer and the first one I tried. It was Newcastle-y in color and sweet like that beer as well. A potentially great beer after a round of golf or other non-threatening situations, I felt like this is what they recommend to people who only drink Bud Light or are on a diet. No hops to be seen. The Jonas Brothers of beers really. I don't know what that means.

Czech Lager: Now we're on the trolley! A pilsner that was truly spicy. It had some kick and some gusto. Pizazz! Shazam! Wheee! No seriously, this one was really good.

Hefeweisen: Full disclosure time: I wouldn't describe myself as a big wheat beer fan and this one also fell flat for me. Something about the combination of fruit in beer and the loaf-of-bread-in-a-glass factor got me here. If a company could make a wheat beer that didn't require fruit and didn't make me feel like Prince Fielder after two glasses, I could potentially be in.

Golden Export: Their Budweiser, and the last one I had. This is really what they recommend to people that only like light beers. I thought it kind of had a paint thinner aftertaste. Not good times. If you go to microbreweries seeking beers like this, see also: Coors Original anywhere west of Exit 305 (Alda) in Nebraska.

They also had a seasonal bock I regretfully wasn't able to try, in retrospect this should have replaced the Hefeweisen for me. Out of the four beers I had, big raising of the glass to the Czech and (less so, but still) the Marzen. Bad times to the Hefeweisen and Golden Export.

Modern Drunkard Convention - Denver, CO

I won't be able to go to this, but if you're in the Denver area and don't go....consider this your slap to the face.

Drunkard National Convention
August 29-31
Denver, CO

Brew of the Month - August

Zima, the beer "Malternative." Because people are too big of vaginas to post stuff to this blog.

Get it together.

By the way, apparently Zima has "gone citrus." I guess they've always been for Fruits, now they're just not hiding it anymore. You can say Zima is "out of the closet."

When will the Belgians stop?

Leave it up to those damn Belgians to come up with a "scratch and strip" beer bottle. That's right, you scratch the swimsuit off the lady to reveal the belgian goodies. If such a thing exists.

And leave it up the the British to be too proper to sell it.

UK bans Rubbel Sexy Lager

Beer Nostalgia Reigns

With the success of Grain Belt and Pabst, is Schlitz the next beer to come back on a large scale?

Probably.

(Oh, and thanks to Jimstock and The Baldridge people for all of the delicious seasoning, and check exit177 or HeavySoul for the running diary of my North Platte class reunion trip/Fort Cody visit sometime tonight. Great times.)

Grain Belt Premium is TOO good.

After years and years of drinking beer, I've become accustomed to having a little bite at the end of every drink. Then I tried Grain Belt Premium.

Here's what happened, initially it tasted very good, nice and malty. Then I waited for the everyday beer kick at the end.

I'm still waiting.

That's the story behind Grain Belt Premium. There is no freakin' bite. And I'm not sure I like it. It's like Pavlov's dog, I've been classically conditioned to believe that every beer has an ending flavor that either tickles your balls, or bites them. I'm so used to the bite of beer, that I don't know if I can let Grain Belt Premium into my beer-drinking life.

Grain Belt Premium is like the perfect set of boobies that everyone thinks are fake...but actually, they're real.

After the approximately 2 billion beers that I've already drank in my lifetime, it's taking me a little while to grasp this whole "biteless" beer. But I'll get there.

I guess I agree...

It happened.

The great American Institution that is Anheuser Busch, is now owned by Belgians. Just this morning, InBev purchased the American beer juggernaut for a cool $52 Billion dollars.

Here's the story from CNN.

Many people think this is a horrible thing, the end to one of the great American companies. But others (i.e. stockholders) think this is a good move.

So what's your take?

Key West Sunset Ale - Everything Key West isn't

Whoever named this beer either a.) has never been to key west, or b.) is 15. For a beer named Key West Sunset Ale, this beer is everything I imagine Key West NOT to be.

Unfortunately, the only frame of reference I have of Key West is from MTV's The Real World. Hence, I can only imagine what KW is like. I imagine barely dressed women getting so wasted they pass out along the beach. I imagine heat, lots of it. So hot it makes me sweat out of my eyeballs. I imagine an island full of Carribbeans who feel somewhat like Americans, but when we go there, they get us drunk and make fun of us. Which is fine because we're too drunk to care. I imagine palm trees, hurricanes, steel drums, and more drunk college students all singing Jimmy Buffet. I image flip-flops, sand, and erections. And if I had to imagine a sunset, it would be perfect. A bright orange sun that dips below the crystal clear water, creating an absolute heaven.

With that, this beer is almost illegally disappointing. If I had to liken it to anything, it'd be Fat Tire, which is the furthest from key west you can get. Hippy chicks, not naked ones. Cool Fort Collins air where they don't even have air conditioners, not sweltering heat with AC in every 5-star resort. Fat Tire is eco-friendly, which is the opposite of drunk tourists scattering their beer bottles and salt shakers all over the beachfront.

Fat Tire stands for something. Key West Sunset Ale stands for something too...shit.

The taste is malty with a hint of crappy citrus flavor. It actually tastes like whatever citrus they put in it was grown in Colorado. Sure, it's a smooth beer with a decent malty flavor. But you don't prance around like some flaming ballerina and call yourself Ray Lewis.

Horrible metaphors aside, Key West Sunset Ale is a horrible metaphor for Key West, but a great metaphor for anus.

Hangovers: The After-Party Grab Bag of Booze

One of the best things, in fact it may be the only good thing about having people at your house besides not driving, is all the leftover booze that people place in your fridge.

The other night I had a meager 10 people over to mostly grill burgers, drink, and light M80s in my driveway to the dismay of my uptight suburban neighborhood. In the span of one rather low-key night, I collected the following:

A four pack of ginger beer for Moscow Mules

One Michelob Ultra bottle, which I am drinking right now

Three very chic Michelob cans, that are streamlined to suggest to coke-addled models, "Drink me and you can still see your clavicles in the mirror while you chop out the next one."

At least a dozen Coors Light cans

Four or five Coors Light bottles

A half empty bottle of Skyy

So I ask you, dear Brews and Booze readers, what is your best after-party haul?

I can't believe this almost happened.

Apparently, about two months ago, there was major speculation that Guinness was planning to close their original James Gate Brewery.

Brews & Booze apologizes for falling asleep on this one. How could we not have heard about this? Anyway, lucky for us (and all brew enthusiasts) the fine people at Guinness changed their mind.

Here's the entire story, from NYTIMES.com.

Redbridge - Smells like feed lot, tastes like small town prom night.

This is a pretty unique beer. Disguised as a small batch micro, Anheuser-Busch just made a beer that has given 3.2 million yankees hope. 3.2 million men and women can now temporarily remove the pain of foreclosure. They can numb their domestic disputes without fear of violent illness. And best of all, its smooth as hell and will stand up to reasonably sloppy marathons.

Long and short, its made with sorghum, and does not contain wheat or barley,which apparently makes 3.2 million people, suffering from Celiac Disease, super bitchy and not fun to be around. This according to Anheuser. And I always trust health reportings from the people who mess us up.
It really does smell sorghumy and a bit like that shit that sticks to the inside of a lawnmowery smell. But it finishes hoppy and almost creamy.


Verdict: Glad I picked it up. Its worth the experience. I saw this at GABF 2006, however, and I've always said this, if you locate your beer in the center of the GABF, you better have stickers or some other gimmick, because no one will remember what it tasted like.

July 4th Beer - the obvious choice

One of the Founding Fathers of our great country, Sam Adams was integral in the Boston Tea Party and other events. But it's funny, he's now associated with great beer, eventhough he ran his family's brewery into the ground.

Cheers, Sam Adams. Cheers, America.

Have a safe 4th of July everyone.

July Beer of the Month

Dear Brews and Booze drinkers-

My official July brew/booze of the month nomination is sour beers. Actually, no one in particular, just that oft misunderstood, bizarre, and tangy category of beers perfected by the Belgiums (is it Belgese or even Belginians, which ever it is, I bet their women are hot). As a placeholder for this beer, my prediction for the new 'it' beer type for the masses, was crafted in Nebraska's favorite rival city, Boulder, by Avery Brewing Co. *Note* as you can tell by the 'craftiness' of their website, their beers are usually a disappointment)
I asked a specialty beer shop worker in San Francisco for a 'sour beer', and this is what I was dealt. Avery Fifteen Anniversary Ale.

The label describes the ingredients as follows: mission figs, hibiscus flowers, and white pepper. Having tried a total of none of those things, I can tell you, I still have no idea what this beer tastes like. Plus, it was 8 dollars. So all in all, this is the most unhelpful, non productive beer suggestion ever. But it was sour on the tail. And that, my boozers, is what I'm after.

Further research tells me it gets this sourness from the yeast strain 'brettanomyces' which is generally a deal-killer for beers and wines, except for the Belginians, who use this strain to draw out the tart in their beers' fruit notes.
There are others methods of making beer sour (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brettanomyces). I like those better.

What turned me on the sour beers? My love for vinegar, an accidental buy of a tub of 'cry-baby' chewing gum in the early 90's, and New Belgium's La Folie. If you find yourself in their Fort Collins tasting room, ask for a bottle of this. You will hit someone, it tastes so good.

And I paired it with the new season of the Real World. The Real World was over-cooked, tough, and certainly dry. Sarah sucks at journalism.

Nominated by JimStock.

Booze of the Month

Well, for July we received two nominations for Brew of the Month. However, one of the nominations was liquor. Which is perfect, because now I don't have to pick a winner, because this nomination won BOOZE of the Month:

White Grape Smirnoff, nominated by Jen:


A sweet drink without being "Jolly Rancher". You'll want to drink it on the rocks. Chasers are a thing of the past. It's that good.

I could have opted for a professional image of the bottle but felt the counter view was easier to relate to.

There you have it. Thanks, Jen.

MillerCoors Light - Two Companies, One Cup

For what its worth, Miller and Coors are now one damned entity. Creatively, the name of the company is Millercoors. Hours upon nerdy-marketing hours were spent brainstorming the name of this new company. So what are the implications of Miller and Coors colliding?
Uhh...2 Heineken's please!

Ah, the future is nice.

Brew of the Month Nominations due TOMORROW!!!

Three exclamation points means business...Brew of the month nominations are due tomorrow.

email them to brewofthemonth@brewsnbooze.com

Bud Buyout Heating Up

America is taking notice of the potential Anheuser-Busch buyout by InBev.

It was one of the top stories on FastCompany.com yesterday. Check it out.

Mighty Arrow: Another reason to go down on New Belgium?

Has anyone tried New Belgium's Mighty Arrow pale ale yet? I'd like a review if possible. I saw it during my one day visit to the Fort this year, and it was only available in these new "folly packs" (a brilliant new marketing ploy in which you must buy a 12 pack containing 3 each of 4 of New Belgium's beers in order to try their seasonal oddities). Apparently Mighty Arrow is a tribute to the owners' dog, which just passed away. There a plenty of reviews for it at the Beer Advocate, but I refuse to read words that won't end up making me laugh. If you are closer to the brewery than I, and I'm guessing you are, save our South American readers, pick up a folly pack today and post your drunk opinion.

Wild West Microbrew Fest: A Report

Random Thoughts from Year two of the Newest Cool Thing Added to Nebraskaland Days:

• They checked ID's but let my 6 month old son in.
• The Free Glass they gave me said "Beamish Genuine Irish Stout." That beer wasn't included in the tasting.
  
• Big Sky Brewing Company (Missoula, Montana) was highly represented. About half of the 20 or so beers there were from this Brewery. None of them were any good--perhaps you've tasted "Moose Drool"?
• JW Dundee's Honeybrown was one of the featured beers--seemed to be a big hit. Is this even a "microbrew"?
• My favorite was probably Sierra Nevada's Summer Ale. A nice Ale without too much "Summer" added. Breckenridge Brewery's "Summerbright" was not as good--bad aftertaste.
• Drank beer with the Assistant Superintendent and HS Principal. Wish I could remember all of the cliches and bad jokes.
• Zach Linstedt (sp?) and Shayna Dunn (sp?) were there.
  
• People were pissed that they didn't get full beers.
• Lifehouse plays tomorrow. Hope they play "Hanging By a Moment." I should bring a lighter.
  

Little known hangover cure made in Memphis...really just crushed aspirin.

A colleague of mine informed me today of a hangover remedy that is big in the south. No it isn't chicken and waffles, or illiteracy. BC Powder has been marketed for a 100 years as "the working man's friend", "freeing up your time spent dealing with headaches from the workplace, to spend time with your family."
Well, naturally drunks have gotten ahold of it, and use it to shake their julep benders.
Moderately entertaining website, considering A) its a pharmaceutical and B) 30% of their market can't read so they have to rely on graphics to convey their message.
I think they did a good job-If you are a southern dude; 1. rip the powder down your throat 2. continue breaking up Union railroad lines with that shovel, hangover-free of course.
If you are a southern belle; 1. in a powder room, drop powder into glass 2. mix in sexism, domestic fear 3. throw it down, now get out there and watch men vote!

I have a theory on how this stuff works: once the contents of the crushed medicated powder cover your tongue and start to dissolve your mouth, you forget about your hangover. Its no menudo, but I suppose it might just do the trick.