Old Chicago, Cinco de Mayo Tour

I'm not sure why I find myself at Old Chicago all the time. Maybe it's the sub-par heart-attck food? But most likely it's because of the beer selection and TVs. Long story short, right now they're featuring a Cinco de Mayo tour. Overall it's pretty lame. The beers on the tour are your run of the mill Mexican beers: Dos Equis, Corona, Negra Modelo and Pacifico. If you ask any white person what Mexican beer they can think of, this list pretty much covers it. It's like a Cash-cab Red light challenge. Lame.

I want some exotic Mexican brew. 'Cmon Old Chicago, drive down to Tijuana, make some shady negotiations and bring back some real Mexican beer. Give me something that smells like Selma Hayak, tastes like Antonio Banderas, and gives you a hangover like Cheech. I mean, I can get your list at Albertson's.

The one redeeming thing about the tour is the t-shirt you get for completing it. I can't find a picture, but just imagine a brown shirt (obviously) with sombrero-wearing beer bottles.

Okay BeerBloggers, enlighten this blistering sunburner about some great Mexi beers.

News Belgium Flash

This is great news for me. Kind of.

I love cans of beer, probably 10 to 20 times more than I love bottles of beer. Yeah, yeah, "but bottles!". "Bottles taste way better! Cans are for pussies, and people who don't care about what beer tastes like." "Bottles!"
Yes bottle-guy, you like really can taste the difference. You love bottled beer enough to fore go the portability of a portable product.
Thankfully, and this is no surprise, New Belgium shares my opinion on this topic down to the letter. Check out the article, and have fun shot-gunning your bottle with those ridiculous bendy straws, captain sophistication.

Readers' Choice; Favorite Bar Pastime - Shuffleboard

Even if you're the dive bar among dive bars, if you have shuffleboard you're automatically elevated in status. There's something about the game that has motivated our readers to overwhelmingly vote it as their favorite bar game.

Maybe it's the history? Although precise accounts are incredibly hard to find, there seems to be some consensus that "indoor" or "table" shuffleboard was invented by the Brits sometime in the 15th century. In its earliest stages, shuffleboard was nothing but two blokes sliding coins across a table, in fact, its early name was "shove-penny" or "shovel-penny" and it became insanely popular around the time of colonization. Mostly confined to the east coast, shuffleboard didn't really become popular nationwide until WWII when soldiers spread the game back in their hometowns.

But maybe the allure of shuffleboard is the dazzling vision of a giant block of well-varnished wood? Most non-JC Penny catalog tables are between 9' and 22 feet long and made of Maple or oak, with the dickens lacquered out of them.

Or maybe it's the needed skills of precision and touch after you've drank 6 scotches. The standard game of shuffleboard is called Knock Off, but other shuffleboard games do exists. So if you're in the mood to mix it up, try these:
Crazy Eight, Horse Collar, Target, or Tap & Draw.

And to note, the beauty above is from Champion Shuffleboard and will probably cost you upwards of $5,000. And if you want to build one on your own, good luck finding a reliable how-to.

Here's to you shuffleboard...one big cheers from our readers to you.

What's your favorite shuffleboard venue? We're always on the look out for new ones.

Cocktale: Long Shot with Gordita

In the spirit of Sam Adams' B&B April drink of the month victory, I picked up a chic six pack of the brewery's Long Shot winners last weekend. For review purposes. Why else would you only buy six beers. Paired with Taco Bell's ground beef Gordita, this tale is littered with pre-mature heartburn and those spice-cabinet, craft beer belches.

(Please note: had this been a Cheesy Gordita Crunch, these beers just don't have the balls to be in the same photo.)

Long story short, the Long Shot competition highlights winners from Sam Adams' annual competition of their own employees and home brewers. A few winners have their beers bottles and distributed in small quantities. Great idea. Love it.



Grape Pale Ale
I was nervous. There is an ordinary middle-aged woman on the label. Generally, I don't like middle-aged women. I'm not into the cougar culture. Not my deal.
The beer's name reminds me of Clearly Canadian, or some ironic Wal-mart calorie free drink with 'natural flavors'. Not good.

Start: It began with a crisp ale taste. Sort of ordinary. A little purgatory. Not great, not horrible.
Finish: It ended with the subtlest of subtle fruit aroma. I must admit, it was really pleasant. A little nancy, but pleasant.
Final Impression: This would be a great choice for say, shooting a higher quality porn on some yacht named 'Daddy's Girl'. It did, indisputably, get its ass handed to it by Taco Bell's Fire Sauce and partially drained beef. Grow a pair (or bunch), Grape Pale Ale.

Weizenbock
Super beer-sy name. Way to go. You not only love beer, but you need to make it at home to, and you name your beers to reflect that. Your dresser is spilling out micro brewery shirts. Your keychain has more openers than keys. Sweet.

Start: This thing opens up a foot away from your face. It smells like it was made by Quakers or Mennonites, sans unfinished rocking chair and inbreeding.
Finish: More of the same. Every square inch of your tongue is harassed by this beer. If you're a 'need the most flavor ever, all the time'-guy, you'll dig this brew. Really craft-tasting. Like those brew tour samples that you pretend to the sample-giver that you really can pick out the coriander and northeast Belgium origins.
Final Impression: Great beer for beer lovers. I hated it. Why? It owned my gordita's Baja sauce, one of the top 5 sauces in all of cheap fast food-dom. Listen, you may contribute to my buzz. You can make me look like I do a good job picking out beer. But to overpower my baja sauce? There's still one left in my fridge.

Beer of the Month - May nominations

In celebration of Cinco de Mayo, the May beer of the month should probably be narrowed down to import beers from our good friends down south. So with that, nominations for May are now open.

And please, when you nominate, create a new post and possibly add a picture...you know, for an enhanced viewer experience.

Jesus...blogging is turning me into a nazi.

Your Snowday Care Package

This one goes out to theRealNP. Happy snowday. May we suggest putting on some thermal socks, sitting in your favorite recliner or davenport, sipping on some fine whiskey, and reading a gentleman's magazine while watching the Masters. Congratulations.

We may also recommend Miller High Life, 'cause you're livin' it.

Snow Day/Masters--What's the drink?

So school got called off early today because of snow, which is awesome--but this leaves me with quite a decision. What's the drink for a day like this? Right now it's vodka and orange Powerade because that's all I got. But what would THE drink be for this day. Snow Day usually = Guiness or some other stout-type. Masters usually = Michelob Light or Heinken. But a Snow Day and the Masters, WTF?

Guilty pleasure alert: Breweriana on eBay

I find myself often scouring eBay in search of things that I absolutely do not need, yet covet. This is an example. I want this fucking sign. Which makes me believe that I:

a. should have been in a fraternity to explain such douchey purchases

b. need to fucking grow up

c. should not look at eBay anymore

d. both a and b

e. all of the above

(correct answer 'd')

But seriously, look at this and this and this.

I swear to god, for white males this is kryptonite.

April Beer of the Month - Sam Adams Lager

A tough decision this was, with multiple well-written and thought-out nominations. But this one goes to Pete and Sam Adams Lager. Cheers!

I nominate Sam Adams Lager as my April Beer of the Month. Despite the fact that I usually despise things from Massachusetts that aren't Boston Baked Beans, this hoppy darling has been on the top of my list for the last couple of weeks. Sam Adams beers, with the exception of the detestable Cherry Wheat, are all really exquisite but only the Summer Ale can compete with the original one.

Get a nice frosty mug for yourself and see. As the commercial notes, they use a pound of hops for every barrel. The result is a complex draft beer that is palatable for both my refined taste buds and also for the Mrs', who is known to order something other than Miller Lite about once a year.

I have no idea how you do it, Sam Adams, you generous patriot, but your Lager gets a big April thumbs up from ol' Pete.

Recommended occasions for a frosty mug of Sam Adams (cannot stress the frosty mug enough for this one):

1. With red meat
2. During a Spring blizzard while indoors
3. Viewing The Masters
4. As a delicious afternoon start to a long Saturday of binge drinking

Samuel Adams Fans Attn:

There seems to be a few people who enjoy Boston Beer Company's product (not sure who doesn't), and as a huge fan myself, I thought I would share this. I don't think this is any reflection of their beer. Unfortunate.
Aside: I visited their brewery last summer, and highly recommend it. Probably in my top 5 brewery tours (There will be a B&B brew tour post. I'm too excited about it to predict when it might debut, someone help out with a distillery review. I haven't had the balls to visit one yet. I just put more shit in parentheses than not.)