Google introduces "Google Goggles"
Hey friends. It turns out that now you can set your Gmail account to challenge you with a Math question when you try to send an email during hours preset by you. Thanks Google. Because I'm always getting wasted and starting 'e-fights.' I cannot tell you how many times I've woken up after a wild night of recliner beers wondering if I "really did hit send" and checking my inbox and realizing "OMG I totally did."
So now I can set my account to make me answer a Math question before it sends. A fucking Math question!? You don't think I can do Math drunk? I excel at Drunk Math like Nathan Nowak excels at Drunk Driving!! How about making me do something really tough like operating heavy machinery or convincing my wife to have sexual relations with me? Because if I had to do that shit, I'd never send off those crisis-causing belligerant emails that Google is supposed to save me from now.
So in Summary, I say thanks but no thanks to your little 'google goggles' (thanks Sarah Palin-at least you're good for one liners). Instead of keeping me from sending 'drunk-mails', here's some shit I'd rather have you Drunk-protect me against:
-Being way to involved in awkward party conversations
-downloading music that I'll never listen to
-Having one more because there's something really good on Friday Night TV
-?
What else?
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3 comments:
Who goes out drinking without a calculator anyway?
If you do, you run the risk of over-paying bar tabs, cabs, and not hitting on chicks from the school of mines.
I'm confused. I thought "Beer goggles" were supposed to give you an excuse for doing stupid shit (i.e. chicks from mines) not stop you from doing it. Hasn't everyone used the classic line of "I was wasted" to make it all okay.
For these reasons I have installed a breathalyzer on my computer to prevent rogue drunk e-mails.
Other things to use the breathalyzer for are:
-masturbating (it never works out when drunk and you wake up wondering why your alone and naked)
-Picking a vice presidential candidate (its the only logical explanation)
Dear Google-
Please protect me from drunk betting on the dog that shares a name with my favorite Denny's entree.
Also, drunk protect me from bumming smokes at that race track.
And one more thing, when I'm drunk porn surfing, please just substitute whatever keyword I used to search with 'lesbian.'
Thanks.
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