1. Newcastle Brown Ale-This is the ultimate beer for Thanksgiving in my opinion. It tastes great in the morning, looks respectable enough that no one questions why you brought 18 of 'em and won't share, and isn't conducive to the kind of binge drinking that could cause you to pass out before the 4PM feast. My tip: have some red wine with dinner, and then crack one open to have with pie.
2. Sam Adams Winter Lager-I saw it in stores this week finally and I can't wait to put one to my lips. The master of the seasonal beers score another "A" with this one. A perfect way to wind down the festivities by the fire. My tip: get in that recliner, put on It's A Wonderful Life, and nurse it until your asleep. You've earned it.
3. Busch Heavy (Camo cans)-If your families' Thanksgivings are really just about getting hammered, this is the only way to play. No one, and I mean no one, should have light beer on Thanksgivng. Indulge yourself and head for the mountains. Is this beer white trash? Is it ironic? Is it good? Yes, No, No. It is definitely white trash, people in skinny jeans won't touch it, and it's not good, it's fucking awesome. My tip: go pheasant hunting, then grab a 12er of Camo Cans from the Speedee Mart in North Bend, NE and head back to civilization in time to clean your kill and get some football bets in before turkey time. 4. George Killians' Irish Red-If you want a crisp beer that makes it appear like you've splurged for the Holiday but really you found on sale for $4.99 a sixer at Meyer's Liquor, this is your baby. Is it good? I honestly don't remember. I believe that Coors makes it, and that is kind of awesome. My tip: bring a sixer and pawn it off as a faux act of generosity to that uncle you hate.
5. Pilsner Urquell-Celebrate your families' European roots (or not) with a beer that tastes like it is straight out of the river Danube. Ignore the atrocities of American imperialism and brutality with a taste of the old country. Bohemians of the world can unite around one fact: this beer sucks. This green-bottled, bitter bastard will be the only thing on the table less palatable than that cranberry jello shit my grandma makes. My tip: See numbers 1-4, and watch The Peanuts Thanksgiving special sometime this week. Sure it's not as good as The Great Pumpkin or the Christmas one, but it still fucking rules. Also, the only good thing that Jim Davis, creator of Garfield, has ever done is The Garfield Thanksgiving, so relive some childhood and catch that one, too.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
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